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Monthly Archives: July 2003

I feel like saying something about the World Hot-dog Eating Championship, because I’m eating a bunch of hot-dogs for dinner right now. There, perhaps the mention of "World Hot-dog Eating Championship" will be enough. I was also wondering how one trains for such an event. Can one improve one’s hot-dog consumption ability through a rigorous daily practice routine? Can one acquire a hot-dog eating coach to motive onesself? Being motivated enough (something the coach would help with), could I take on this Kobayashi guy, who ate 50 hotdogs in 12 minutes, after a period of intense training? Also, I would have to be careful not to get injured, like this guy on the aforelinked page:

At a Milwaukee Brewers baseball game, a man suffered head and neck injuries when a package of frozen sausages fell from a hotdog Eating Competition cart in the upper balcony and hit him in the back of the head.

Perhaps they are fighting back, infuriated and drawn to arms by the Weinerschnitzel dog that’s always running for its life. This may mark the beginnings of a hot-dog revolution. Are they sharpening their bay-onets and loading their buns? Is their strength being mustard? Will they relish the struggle for freedom and independence from their oppressors? Will you take me out to the ball game; buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks?