“Hamster will be scourge across the face of the earth, enabling the free swapping of ham via peer-to-peer networks until the ham industry has been brought to its knees by such rampant ham piracy, and the HIAA (Ham Industry Association of America) is able to successfully sue the makers of Hamster and get them thrown into the legal hamper. Then other, better Hamster clones will be created and the HIAA will have no recourse but to sue sweet little old grandmothers who bake ham pies (with illegally obtained ham) and sprinkle themselves with sugar (that’s why they’re sweet) and ten year old girls who just wanted the latest hit by Jimmy Eat Ham as played on the hammond organ (and who are, by the way, made of slugs and snails and puppy dog tails) instead of buying the hammophone recording.”