Fun with CraigsList, in a fit of boredom/procrastination: I think I posted this a while ago, but going through some old email and running into it again, I feel like issuing a re-release. Like the new edition of the original Star Wars DVDs. (George Lucas’s table scraps, anyone?) So anyway, long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away:
—–Original Message—–
Sent: Tuesday, March 09, 2004 10:20 PM
To: anon-26012335@craigslist.org
Subject: Dear God – 30Dear anonymous poster,
I don’t do favors. I only grant requests to those righteous individuals who have afflicted themselves by living lifetimes of self-imposed needless suffering and prayed to Me thrice daily, praising with fervor and zeal My every atom of existence because I am so supremely great.
<<”Can you please do me a favor and bring someone into my life? Make him be compassionate, playful, HOT as can be, sensual, a hero in my eyes, loving, and HOT. Did I mention hot?
P.S. It’d be nice if he was a little bit tall…like me.”>>
Needless to say, this person, whomsoever she was, did not reply. Or not so needless– isn’t the emoticon a subtle hint to be intrigued by my dryly super sarcastic sense of humor? Sarcasmic.
Sarcastic people should be taken outside and shot. Or maybe I should have mentioned something about how hot (and did I mention, hot?) and by the way, tall, I am.
(After taking off jacket) ah, that’s better.
(After taking off elevator heels) ah, feels good to not be banging my head on doorways all the time. But wait, either those were stilts or I still am pretty tall!