For lack of additional material, and because I thought this was a rather wry bit of wry-ting. Gwen, I assure you, this does not cheapen the fact that I originally wrote it solely as a comment to an entry in your blog.

You have to be careful about cursing around librarians. They’re a sensitive type, I hope you know. Nevermind that they went to school with the rest of us and even had to attend college for a long time to get their doctorates (yes, librarians need doctorates… or was it just masters’?) and were exposed to just as much profanity as the rest of us and should supposedly then be inured to it. That’s really, for whatever reason, not the case. They are also afraid of carrots. Well, carrots are okay shredded, but a whole carrot will cause librarians to shriek with fear, thereby disobeying their own charter of maintaining quiet in the library.

I’m sorry to hear about the puddle. I think you should get your revenge by stomping on it. That’ll cause it to retaliate and you’d have a fight: Gwen vs The Puddle. Sounds like a wrestler. The Puddle. And now, we bring you the fight of the season, The Rock versus The Puddle. Or maybe it’s The Rock versus The Scissors…

The Rock: The Rock is going to lay the smack down!
The Scissors: I will cut you up, and why can’t you use pronouns like everyone else?
Announcer: Let’s get ready to rumble! And The Rock crushes The Scissors! And it’s over!

Something’s making me think the outcome was predetermined… Anyway, it’s a bright sunny day, but there may still be puddles out there, so watch out.