My next post will be completely serious and scientific in nature. But first, something completely different. On a level of silliness you will not believe. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present an excerpt I found from an e-mail message sent March 10, 1997, when I was but a wee laddie in the hallowed halls of higher ‘hejucashun. ‘Hejucashun. Ptooey. Excuse me. I strip myself bare for your ridicule:

The Buger Picker Model no. 402 (patent pending) is explicitly for adults only, and represents years of research and design. It is a remarkable innovation, designed to revolutionize the world of unwanted solidified snot extraction. The Buger Picker comes as part of a package called the “Breathe Easier!(tm) Mucus Removal System.” This product is in such high demand that consumers may have trouble getting hold of one. The package, sold at your local supermarket or hardware store, can also be ordered directly from Snotcom, Inc. Send $39.95 to the address below. You may also visit us on the web, at “www.mucus.org”.

I meant “booger”, not “buger”. Now go bugger off.