You’re taught in kindergarten to hold scissors with the handle pointing forwards and the blades pointing back towards you. But what happens if you’re in a hurry and accidentally run into a wall? You’ll just end up stabbing yourself in a manner reminiscent of a thankfully antiquated form of ritual suicide. Personally speaking, since based on past experience I’m much more likely to run into a wall than to run into someone else, it would seem that in order to objectively minimize loss of life I ought to hold my scissors or sharp knives pointing forwards as I run about, especially when there aren’t any people in the vicinity. They really ought to teach kids a more nuanced set of rules in this regard. I.e., if you //must// run with scissors (e.g., due to a paper snowflake emergency), here’s how to do it as safely as possible.

When I have kids some day, I’m going to be //such// a great parent!