If this was a technology column, I would write something about how great Google Desktop Search is, because I just typed in some particular keywords and pulled out this old email conversation snippet with an old roommate of mine. But it’s not, so I won’t. I have no opinion on Google Desktop Search. See, I’m not even linking to it. There, that proves it.

—–Original Message—–
From: rr
Sent: 06 March, 2002 10:12 AM
Subject: Re: Delivery Notification: Delivery was successful, wonder of wonders

hey, i didnt mean the computer guy had your personality in any way–i just said that his sentence structure was very similar. that is all–but it is enough to make e uncomfortable.

e=me.

ok.

me squared.

—–Original Message—–
From: mh
Re: me cubed. wait, don’t do that.
Date: Mar 6, 2002 – 1:52pm

Oh, ok. Hmm… I didn’t notice that. Yeah, but can he have sentence structures like THIS?:

(Music starts playing. I start rapping along in some incredibly complex sentence structures and sticking my arms out at odd angles in an angry manner. Of course the song has to have a line telling everyone to put their hands way up in the air and wave them all around like they just don’t care. Every rap song has that line. Maybe mine just says it in an overly complex way.)

Um… I will call you shortly.

Actually I will call you R____. But I will speak to you on the household telecommunications device shortly.

me3

So this person’s sentence structures reminded her of my sentence structures, which are (or were), apparently, very unique. Well, I’m pleased to have achieved that level of individuality through sentence structure. It’s something I’m (*sniff*) proud of, after a lifetime of hard work, honing these sentence structures, trying to make this world a better place through my work, improving the lives of (*sniffle*) the downtrodden children and the trodden-upon babies. That’s why I’m so proud to be able to (*SNIFF*) accept this award, and to thank you all for your unlimited quantities of sympathy and support. Thank you.