K. asked me to proofread her personal statement wherein she expressed her reasons for wanting to join something called the Joint Center:

—–Original Message—–
From: K.
To: Mike H.

The goals of the paper:

brief statement of career aims and basis of interst in the Joint Center.

Here’s the organizations mission, which im supposed to be intersted in:

The Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies informs and illuminates the nation’s major public policy debates through research, analysis, and information dissemination in order to: improve the socioeconomic status of black Americans and other minorities; expand their effective participation in the political and public policy arenas; and promote communications and relationships across racial and ethnic lines to strengthen the nation’s pluralistic society.

Ok, sounds nice, but… you know I just couldn’t resist. I proofread her personal statement (solidly written, K.) and then wrote a personal statement (ha ha) of my own, as follows. Think she should submit this one?? Yeah, definitely:

I would like to work for the Joint Center because I, too, believe marijuana should be legalized, and I support the cause of a center from which to distribute joints to all who desire them, for medicinal purposes or otherwise. From a personal standpoint I am a strong joint advocate because joints (and I’m not talking about the elbow kind) play a significant role in my life. That’s because I smoke two joints in the morning and I smoke two joints at night; additionally, I smoke two joints in the afternoon: it makes me feel all right. I believe everyone should have the right to feel all right.

I believe I can contribute to the Joint Center by managing and designing the campaigns whereby its message of peace and love (of joints) can be spread. In fact, I have several such campaigns in mind, beginning with one having the aforementioned phrase as its slogan: “The Right to Feel All Right”. We will take to the streets with our message and march to the capital of Caul-ee-four-nee-uh where we will petition our Governator for the right to wend our weed to the wide world, to pipe our pot publicly, to gracefully grow our grass… to have The Right to Feel All Right.

I know the Joint Center is right for me, and I know I am right for the Joint Center. I hope that, therefore, I am high on your list of candidates. Thank you.